Gratefully, it Was an Ordinary Day.

Today was a hard day, nothing extraordinary, just a tiring day. It has now been two weeks that Ryan has been underway and that leaves me to solely care for Addison 24 hours a day, seven days a week. In that time we have gone through a blizzard, popped a molar, both carried a cold, and done the trillion other daily tasks we repeat at LEAST a dozen times a day. Like today, we ventured down to Green Bay, just Addison and I, and for five hours it was unbuckle her, put on her coat, go into the store, do business, unstrap her from the cart, change her diaper, strap her back in the car seat, stow away purchased items, drive to next store, hear repeated sneezing, pull over, clean up snot, get back in car, pull over, fix a bottle, situate bottle in car seat so the drinking angle is just right for Five hours. And when I got home it was more of the same, unload her, unload the car, pick up around the house and I was more than ready for a break. Ready for Ryan to come home and do his Dad thing. Ready to NOT give just one more bath, not fix one more meal, not wipe one nose, not unbuckle a car seat one more time, not carry 25 wriggling pounds into a store. I was ready for a break. And then I listened to my voice mail.
It was my college roommate Tara. Our other roommate, Jenny's, fourteen month old passed away Mon. night in his sleep. And a million things race through my mind. What happened, what do we do, what is she going to do, what do we say, do we say anything, have you talked to her, does she want to talk, how are we going to make this better? And a million answers did not come to my mind to answer those questions.
All evening the calls and texts went back a forth between Tara and I. Calls to Jenny went out and then calls back to each other. Questions, questions, and more questions and just not enough answers. But one thing was made blatantly clear to me...I am GRATEFUL. I am grateful to have the opportunity to give Addison another bath, to fix another bottle, to position it just right, to put her in and out of her car seat, to make another harried trip to the city, to wipe away more snot, change one more diaper and care for her solely while Ryan is underway again. I am so desperately thankful for the opportunity Heavenly Father has given me to be a mother, to be Addison's mother. I am thankful to have the opportunity to fulfill the mundane tasks of everyday life with a child and marvel at what an extraordinary opportunity it is to serve a precious little spirit of our Heavenly Fathers.
My heart aches for Jenny and what she and her family must be going through. I am grateful for the example she is of what a Mother should be, even at a time like this. She is truly a spiritual powerhouse and I know she will make it through the hell she is facing. She is strong and she has faith in our Heavenly Father's plan. I am grateful for that plan that our Father has created, a plan by which families can be together forever and I am grateful that Jenny has that knowledge too.